Friday, April 11, 2008

Candy Friday!

I finally got a chance to sit down and "create" last night. It was just not my week for crafting - I usually sit down at least a little time each day, so I was really missing it. I accomplished one of the challenges last night, the Tilda and Friends ATC challenge. This week was a recipe to follow, so lets check me and make sure I got all the ingredients.
1- One Bow - Check (Brown with pink striped ribbon)
2- Two Flowers - Check (whew... almost forgot those and I added them to the bottom corners)
3- Three colors - Check (Pink, Brown and White)
4- Four Brads - Check ( Four small heart brads on either side of Tilda)

I tried something new for me... I didn't color her dress in. I wanted her to have a lacy white dress against the pink background. Well when I finished it, it was blah. So I highlighted with the copics and my white gel pen. Hope they like it.

Also I bet you all think I totally forgot my promise for some candy this week. Well I did for a day or so, understandably. But then remembered last night. So here it is!!!!! BLOG CANDY TIME!!!!

I am offering up for the taking a few of my favorites again.
A Fiskars Squeeze Punch.
A New Released Cuttlebug Embossing Folder
Floral Fantasy
A package of Little Debbie Chipboard Stars
And I just got in some Maya Road Chipboard Houses, Keys, and Trees so I am sharing some of them too!
Ok, so how do you win the loot? Well my hubby had so much fun and was so thrilled with my last candy, he has been asking me to do it again, so we will do it all again. Leave a comment under this post with your best joke. He is still telling some of the last ones! He reads them all and doesn't look or know any of the names with the jokes. The one that he likes the most will win! And lets see... how about if we make it a TAX day prize! Tuesday, April 15th 9pm central time will be the judging and I will post the winner that night! Good luck and we can't wait to hear the jokes!
ATC info:
Stamps - Magnolia
Paper - Bazzill, Amanda Blue
Accessories - Stickles, Ribbon, Brads, Copic Markers, White Gel Pen


Suzanne said...

Your ATC is just gorgeous. I am off to ask hubby for some jokes he gets them all the time on his phone just got to find something suitable to print!!! Sue :o)

JAR said...

Well, since I am blonde, I will tell a blonde joke!

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".

Have a great weekend and thanks for the opportunity to win!

Kisa Peters said...

LOVE the ATC...your coloring is perfect! Totally know what you mean about not having much stamp time this week...we must be in the same boat!
I'm so bad at telling I'm copy/pasting it!
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE? NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

I'm sorry... what did you ask me?

Not sure that your husband will appreciate it...but you might!

Valérie said...

So beautiful !! I love the colors, the stamp... all your ATC ! Wonderful ! Very great work !

Deana said...

Okay, my boys are CONSTANTLY telling Chuck Norris jokes. I think it must be a guy thing, they can do it for hours. Pretty much drives me crazy. But I thought Craig might like them. Since they are so short, I'm sending you several. (2 WEEKS TIL CARD CLASS!)
- Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
- There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
- There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Claudia said...

oh michelle...
i do not even try.. cause i can tell you a joke probably the best in German.. hahaha...

i loooove your atc! i visitid your blog yesterday and you had not posted this yet but i was looking at your cute baby donkeys. they are so fun to look at.
take care

Anonymous said...

I am no good at telling jokes....basically because I can't remember them...duh!! Your ATC is wonderful and I love the white dress...Hope Vicki is doing okay..have a great weekend!!
(((HUGS))) patti...

sophia landry said...

I love that ATC!! You did such an awsome job with it! Ok, I am terrible at jokes, but my daughter (8) told me one that I thought was funny. It is a knock knock joke.
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Interupting cow
Interupting cow......
Ok, i thought it was funny!

Allison said...

I only know dumb's some for Halloween...

What did the rednecks do on Halloween? Pumpkin.

Why can't witches have babies? Because warlocks have hollow weenies!


Stampin Cats said...

Love the card. Thanks for sharing the blog candy. I hope DH gets a lot of laughs from all of us.

1. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.

2. A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

Hope he likes my jokes.

ink'n'rubba said...

love how you cooked up the recipe with us this week and the way you did Tilda's dress. Unfortunately all the jokes I know are rather rude .. ..! annie x

Anonymous said...

I gotta share two, sorry....
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race come about?'
The Mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve, they had children
and so all mankind was made.'
A few days later she asked her father the same question. The father
answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys and we
developed from them.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was
created by God and Papa said we developed from monkeys?'

Mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about
the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you
about his side.'

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you
at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your
radar gun needs calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and
growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat
belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off
when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat
belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns
to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk
to you this way, Ma'am?'
'Only when he's been drinking'.

scfranson said...

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, he started to leave.

"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," he replied, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."


Robin said...

knock knock.

who's there?


boo hoo?

why ya' cryin???

courtesy of my 5year old :)

Great candy!

Lou said...


This is the only joke i can every remember.

A man decides he is going to have a day out at a zoo.

But when he gets there, there are no animals at the zoo.......

....its a Shih Tzu!!!


Jules said...

Why doesn't the sea spill over the earth?
Because it's tied!

Okay..I know your hubby won't be telling this one, but girls think it is hilarious! :)

Suzanne said...

Ok here goes this is the only clean one hubby had on his phone!!!

Irelands worst air disaster struck today, when a two seater plane crashed into a cemetary.
Irish rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies,digging continues...

Sue :o)

Joana said...

It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

'The Obedient Wife'

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real 'miser' when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take
all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

So he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait just a moment!'

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'

You mean to tell me you put that money in the basket with him!?!?!?'

'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

hope he like it LOL

Bunny B said...

Oh, this is fun! Love your ATC btw!
This joke cracked me up, but I'm not good at telling jokes, so I'll cut n paste :P


A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, “I’ve some bad news. You have cancer, and you had best put your affairs in order.”

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. “Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things do not go so well. In this case, things are not well. I have cancer. Let’s head to the club and have a martini.”

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. “I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS,” she told them. The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.

After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned over and whispered, “Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.”

The woman said, “I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.”

Now that’s putting your affairs in order.



Ila said...

I have a little one for ya...

A man was attacked and left bleeding in the ditch. Two psychiatrists passed by and one said to the other,
"We must find the man who did this - he needs help."

Haa haha ha!!

ScrappinGalz said...

What a cute card! She is adorable.

Ok so here is my joke

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a
show in a small town in Arkansas.

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes. What makes you think you
can stereotype women that way?

What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?

It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person.

Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,

"You stay out of this mister! I'm talking to that little sh$* on your lap."

Monika said...

Wow, so generous of you
There were these two snake buddies slithering along through the grass.

One snake asked his friend: "Thay, are we poisonous?"

His friend answered: "Yes, very. Why do you ask?"

And the first snake explained: "I jutht bit my tongue."

I thought it was funny.,

Julie A. said...

I apologize in advance (these jokes are corny), but I enjoyed them and hope that you do too! Thanks so much for the opportunity to win the blog candy!

Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work?

In case they have to draw blood.

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"

The Manager replied, "Which one? We have, 'Barbie goes to the gym' for $19.95 ...

'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ...

'Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 ...

'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95...

'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95 ...

and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00."

"Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" Dad asked surprised.

"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."

Suzanne said...

I know this is too late but I wanted to share this with you!! we have just got back from my niece's 40th Birthday celebration and her 5 year old daughter told me this one ...sounds better coming from a 5 year old!!!

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

because he wasn't peeling well!!

made me laugh!!! Sue :o)

Denise... said...

I hope I'm still in time...I couldn't remember where I saw this joke, so I had to go find the book at my mom's house. I laughed and laughed and it is so corny and silly, but it cracked me up. So, here it is..."How do you stop a fishing boat? whoa, whoa, whoa your boat." laugh, laugh, laugh, snicker, snort!